Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
