you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
