Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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