She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
