spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
