i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
