so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
