dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
