my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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