i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
