K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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