If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
