I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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