The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
