Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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