and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize