everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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