we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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