she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
