When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
