Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize