I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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