just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize