That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
