the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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