Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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