I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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