She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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