So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
