So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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