that's an acceptable place to lick
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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