You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
