Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
