He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
