meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We don't watch enough power rangers
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
wow bdsm is so cute
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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