South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
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Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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