oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
