Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
