You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
