yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
