and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
