idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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