You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
