dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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