Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
