There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
