sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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