remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
