she was so not down for the gang bang
hell yes lets make some ravioli
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
