dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
