Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We don't watch enough power rangers
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
