atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
