She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
