Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
