Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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