I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
