If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
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Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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