It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
