Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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