YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
