I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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