i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
