So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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