please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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